This is a blog post I’ve been wanting to write for quite some months now, after losing one of my closest friends by finding out she had blocked me on Instagram. When I tried to confront her about it and asked if I had somehow done something to upset her, she literally had no answers for me other than “I just didn’t want to deal with it anymore”.
Deal with what?
I literally had no idea. Never found out to this day. She had started her own nutrition company, so perhaps that had something to do with it? But I was always SO supportive of her business and her endeavors with schooling. We had been close through a LOT of things, in both of our personal lives. One of the lowest points of my life, where I was literally kicked out of my house, I went to her and she let me sleep in her bed and we talked about it all night. I mean, I literally never thought that one day she would just wake up and DECIDE that she didn’t want to be friends anymore.
But that was only the beginning.
This has been a reoccurring theme in my life, particularly with other women. And what I’ve been thinking about constantly is the WHY. Why can’t some women just be happy for other women without feeling the need to tear them down behind their backs? Is it insecurity on their own part? I suppose you can’t be happy for someone else’s success or relationship when you are unhappy with your own. But it still truly sucks (for lack of a better word) when you think you have a friend, only to find out that they simply cannot be happy for you and just cut you off like you meant nothing.
First world problems, right? I’m rolling my eyes just reading this back to myself.
But it’s true. It happened then, and it happens now. My circle is so small these days, and to be honest with you, I’m happy keeping it that way. I’m tired of these fake girls pretending to be my friend only to talk about me behind my back, or compare themselves or their relationships to me. I just can’t handle it anymore.
So how do you become a “good” friend? Well, “good” can be defined by many different things. But in my opinion, first and foremost you have to be able to be happy with yourself, in order to be happy for someone else. Whether it’s their success, their relationship, or whatever it is… it’s important to be secure with your OWN life, so that you don’t project your own insecurity onto someone else.
You can still love your own life and celebrate someone else’s success.
You can still love your own relationship and enjoy your own.
Stop worrying about everyone else’s business, and focus on yourself. Learn what makes you happy. Learn how to plant seeds in your own relationship and water it so that it grows. Be kind. Don’t lie.
It doesn’t take much to be a good friend.