Yes, 2018.. 365 days ago from this very day. I remember it like it was yesterday. I could barely sleep because it was the night before Austin and I were going to meet in person for the first time. I remember the looks on people’s faces and the judgment. I was for sure “crazy” in their eyes; how could I possibly know that this person was right for me after never meeting him in real life?
I don’t know what this “feeling” was, if you want to call it a feeling. But the day that I had “met” Austin for the first time (via social media of course) I had this very strange feeling that I had never felt before. I can only describe it as like, an intense push or gravitation perhaps. It was as if an angel was watching over me when those feelings started flooding in, and she was like “yes – exactly”. Was I skeptical at first? Of course. I had just recently been hurt, and I had been feeling lost for quite some time. I actually vowed a few months prior that I was done opening my heart up because I was afraid to commit myself to anyone and get let down again. Yet all of that went out the window the moment that Austin and I spoke. I vividly remember reading a quote earlier that week that said:
Don’t think – just feel. If it feels like home, follow its path.
And that was it. Austin felt like home. From day one, I just felt like I could be 100% my true, authentic self. I held nothing back. We had conversation after conversation about life, dreams, passions, prior experiences.. you name it. I just couldn’t believe it. “How is he real?” I asked myself that at least 50 times per day for the time leading up to when we met in person for the first time. I didn’t let the “what if’s” enter my mind. I just let the feelings continue. I followed them. We followed them. And before we knew it it was August 2nd, 2018. I laid in bed that night imagining what the very first moment would be like. Would I be nervous? Would it be like it has been when we were talking from far away? The calls, the texts, the FaceTimes, would it be the same? I had no idea what to expect. I just knew what I felt – and that was enough for me.
I had never been so sure of something in my entire life. Whatever this feeling was that we had – this connection, it was enough for me to drop everything and follow it. I didn’t care what anyone thought. I didn’t care about the past, I didn’t care about anything other than the emotion that i was feeling.
So what happened on August 3rd? Stay tuned 😉